Wednesday, August 16, 2017

What happens when presentation is just around the corner

I have weird symptom when I have presention that is just around the corner. I realize, the symptoms are quite obvious since my fouth semester.

Usually, it happens at last semester because on that moment, i would have a lot of presentations and assignments needed to be done in one shot. So, if you have faced the same situation like me, please let me know;

1) Gosok gigi guna ubat sabun mandi,
2) Syampu jadi sabun mandi,
3) Banyak termenung sebab dalam otak tengah fikir timeline pasal apa nak cakap masa present nanti
4) Kuat makan sebab nak alihkan tumpuan dari banyak termenung,
5) end up sambil makan pun masih termenung,
6) mengigau dalam tidur bercakap pasal topic yang nak present,
7) rasa berdebar-debar
8) banyak tido sebab nak hilangkan rasa berdebar
9) end up bertambah berdebar sebab rasa banyak lagi kena prepare
10) selalu tersasul dan tersilap ambil barang

So far, these are my signifacant symptoms. Aku sangat banyak termenung sampai kadang2 aku tetiba jadi seorang yang pendiam. Sebab dalam otak tengah banyak suara nak buat itu ini, nak prepare itu ini, nak fikir itu ini.

Hmm. How's that happens? I am worried.

There are any doctor who have faced patient like me and can give consultation. Please, I need you helppp. It is normal?

By the way, after presentation everything is gone like nothing ever happen before.



Monday, August 14, 2017

Favorite Korean Instant Coffee

I am coffeeholic lady who might being seated next to you, enjoying sipping my cup of coffee alone at urban cafe and never care less about people around because I'd been travelling to another world of mine with just a cup of coffee in my hand.

I like to try different type of coffees listed on menu board but somehow, most of the time, I turn out order the same type of coffee. (It's very tempting to try all!)

Coffee is my therapy when I got headache or when I feel gloomy. I need strong taste to boast my energy and fix up my hormone back. So far, this one is perfectly suit and work for me.

But when I got stress, my therapy is travelling or going out to the place I've never been or take one or two hours driving to nowhere and get lost in unfamiliar place.

Or just calling my mom. (She is a super good therapist)

No need for shopping or any entertainment like watching movie or karaoke. To be honest, I don't really like to go to places with so many people, crowded, or too much noise. It gives me more stress. (But, I like being surrounded by my friends and having non-stop chatting and laughing.)

Back to coffee topic, these days, I like to drink this one instant coffee that my mom bought it from Korea, MAXIM if I'm not spell it wrongly. The packaging looks like coffee 3-IN-1 Nestle, but for me the flavor is much better. The savor is good and ideal to my taste. Not too thick and not too light - it just in the middle.

Normally, I don't prefer instant coffee, but for MAXIN I can go with it. We are best friend now. Hooyeahh. 

Whenever I can't afford to enjoy a cup of coffee at urban cafe because I am on budgeting. This one is good enough to satisfy my coffeeholic's desire.


Sunday, August 13, 2017

Masjid Cina Negeri Melaka

Yesterday, me and my parents and my sister, POH visited my brother at KMM. It was a long journey to get there. Because, Lebuhraya Utara-Selatan was super jammed. The cars moved very slow. We needed to change our route last minute.

Then, we had to drop by at Poslaju Centre Alor Gajah to get my brother's parcel because they misplaced it. It is important parcel to him. He supposed to get the parcel a day after it been posted but hmm never mind thing already happened.

My brother already waited us, we had our late lunch at his cafe, chatting a little bit while, then we continued our journey to my mom's hometown. Whenever we went to Malacca, we would sleepover one night at my grandma's house.

On the way to my grandma's house, we got the chance to stop by at Masjid Cina Negeri Melaka for minutes. Masjid Cina Negeri Melaka (MCMN) is Chinese-style mosque located at Krubong, Melaka. It is a beautiful mosque. The scenery is so peaceful.

If you ever come to Malacca, please get the chance to stop by here. And do two rakaat of sunnah prayer. The place is amazing and very calming.


Thursday, August 10, 2017

Confusion phase. Help me!

Aku tak pernah tahu siapakah orang-orang yang membaca blog ini. Aku juga tidak tahu siapakah orang-orang yang mengikuti blog since dari ia lahir sehingga ke hari ini. Yang cuma aku tahu blog ini ada 'viewer'nya. So, untuk viewer(s) blog ini, semoga sentiasa dalam rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah. Semoga apa yang tercoret memberi manfaat terutamanya buat yang sedang menaip ini, seterusnya untuk yang sedang membaca. Hai awak :-)

Hari ini aku bersyukur sangat kerana dengan adanya tulisan-tulisan yang pernah aku pamerkan disini banyak menjadi asbab aku gigih meneroka dunia ini dan sabar menyelami diri aku sendiri. It is not easy to understand what we want because as human we want all.

Aku mungkin mewakili satu dalam 18 juta manusia di muka bumi ini, yang punya terlalu banyak soalan, yang punya terlalu banyak kekurangan, yang punya terlalu banyak masa kejatuhan, yang terlalu banyak rebel dengan tuhan. Tetapi,betapa sayang yang tuhan pada aku, setiap persoalan aku dijawab tepat pada masanya, setiap kekurangan aku ditutup dengan kasih sayangNya, setiap masa kejatuhan aku diangkat ke ribaNya dan setiap rebel aku dibalas dengan cinta dan perhatianNya.

Aku mungkin mewakili satu dalam 18 ribu manusia di muka bumi ini, yang punya terlalu banyak cita-cita, yang punya terlalu banyak impian, yang punya terlalu banyak harapan. Tetapi, aku juga adalah seorang manusia yang sangat takut terbang untuk mencapai apa yang aku inginkan. Aku takut jika aku terbang tinggi, bila diuji lalu aku tidak kembali pulang. Aku takut jika aku terbang tinggi, bila diuji lalu jatuh terhempas menyembah bumi. Kerana takut, aku tersangkut, antara terbang tinggi atau terapung dilantai bumi.

Aku mungkin mewakili satu dalam 18 digit manusia di muka bumi ini, yang keliru dalam kejelasan, yang samar dalam keterangan, yang celaru dalam ketenangan, yang sunyi dalam kebisingan, yang ego dalam ketundukan, yang putus asa dalam kesabaran. Sesuatu yang kontradik hidup di dalam kesamarataan. Seperti Mr Hyde yang hidup di dalam Dr Jekyll.

Aku mungkin mewakili mereka yang ingin bersuara, tetapi dirinya tidak mengizinkan dia untuk bersuara. Terlalu banyak persoalan yang ada dalam kotak kepala otak, tetapi persoalan itu bukan mahukan jawapan tetapi hanya hadir untuk menyerabutkan ruang fikiran. Its sound creepy kan? But, I know its exists. 

Benar, bukan?

Well, I guess its normal. Maybe. I am not sure. Because, at certain phase of human life, we will face the confusion moments that gives us confuse to what life is all about. Yea. We start asking why. Why this. Why that. We want to know badly the reason behind everything that happened in our life. And bla bla bla. Ain't?

It happens to me. NOW. I am scared of this phase. So, I start reading books and articles about human body, human hormones, human growth, human psychology and lots other. However, I found the fact that none of this can give a perfect guidance and guideline. Until something poked my lazy brain, hellyuu, why did Allah sends to us al-Quran and protects the book since 1400 years ago until now. Why? and for what? It must be something that our Creator wants us to know.

This morning I start to prepare my presentation,slide and speech materials because next week my lecturer will come and visit me at my workplace. So, when I was doing my slide presentation, I had to refer several books and references and also a manual of machine. When I look through the manual, somehow I realized every brand machine has different manual book even though the machine is using the same concept and principle of working for the machine to function. Different brands has different ways to handle. So the creator of the machine knows the best on how the machine is functioning, so it puts on manual so that the user knows how to use it.

It is same goes to us. If we totally believe Allah is our creator, we must believe the manual He writes for us. Yea al-Quran is the manual. Our creator knows what is best for us. Every guidelines is in there. We need to open, read, understand and act upon it. I need to open, read, understand and act upon it.

Tetapi, aku tahu untuk mulakan itu susah. Apatah lagi mahu kekal istiqamah. Huh. Aku pernah dengan ustaz kata, nak istiqamah ni, hati kena ikhlas. Hmm. Macam mana nak hati ikhlas eh? Sedangkan hati ni lah yang selalu lalai dan selalu buat dosa. Haih. Moga Allah bantu aku dan kamu. Sebab Dia saja yang pegang hati aku dan kamu. Moga Dia pegang erat sehingga dapat bertemu dengan Dia yang satu. Allah...


Nota Kaki: Tolong doakan saya untuk presentation saya minggu depan. Harap segalanya berjalan lancar. Doakan saya banyak-banyak tau!

Monday, August 7, 2017

when the patient collapsed in front of you

Last monday, I entered OT(operation theater) for the first time in my life. First of all, pre-entering to OT you need to change your cloth to hospital suit (scrubs =scrub suit). So, changing to that suit gives me a heaven feeling which I could not describe. You know what, with that scrubs I can pretend myself being a doctor there. And yea some staffs there did calling me doctor :p somehow I enjoyed that title for now on.

Back to OT first experience, I couldn't deny I felt anxious at first. Because I was informed by my colleague that day we would watching patient undergo operation for his heart. There was some blockage existed inside his blood vessel (thrombosis) So, I could imagine the 'red' thing would play the main role for that day. Yuiksss.

Before the operation started, we needed to wear lead suit to protect our body from radiation. Because the operation involved with fluoroscopy machine, a x-ray movie machine (in simple words). The machine used to screening patient's body so that the medical officer could see the organ inside the body.

Dr Beni wears lead suit. [source from Dr beni's instagram]
this how OT looks like

I just watched the operation from behind. 30 minutes early, everything was going smoothly. The patient was stable and the atmosphere was calming. I was focus to what they were working on.

But, suddenly patient collapsed! His bp (blood pressure) dropped. His ECG reading was not good. When MO (medical officer) called him, he did not respond. Suddenly, the scene I was watching at turned to a drama scene that I'd watched on TV. Everything looked tense and anxious.

'Cepat buat cpr. Cpr pt!.'-specialist beri arahan kat MO.
'Sediakan atropine'-specialist beri arahan lagi.
Tangan dia sedang berselirat dengan wire catheter.
Bacaan ecg pt sangat tak cantik. Bp drop. MO buat cpr kat pt.
One second.
Two second.
Three second.
'Nurse, on kan defibrillator'-specialist bersuara cemas.
Suasana jadi tegang seketika. Semua orang dalam ot nampak cemas.
Selepas beberapa saat kemudian, bp pt back to normal. Temperature stable. Bacaan ecg normal. Pt sedar semula.
"Encik, okey? Ada rasa sakit dada ke?"- MO tanya pada pt.
"Ok, cuma rasa tak larat sikit"-pt.
Semua dalam ot lega. Termasuk aku.

So, that was my first experience in ot. Its really gave me a goosebumps. My heart suddenly skipped beating. I did pray a lot for the safety of patient. And I realized how death is so close to us and it could happen anytime. Allah. I felt so small TT

Alhamdulillahi ala kulli hal especially for the great experience Allah had given to me. I am blessed to be able seeing this miracle. Allah is the greatest. I will remember this moment for the rest of my life. Dr and teams, you did a great job!

Pt- patient
Bp-blood pressure
Ot- operation theater


Sunday, August 6, 2017

Don't leave any leftover

If I am getting fat, please blaming my soft spot of not being able to see any leftover. Uhh!

Since I was very young, I am very good at eating. I eat everything (i mean any cuisines that offered to me). I am not picky but easy going about food. I can say, I love eating and love to try everything. If you ask me to do a list likes and unlikes for foods, I would simply say I don't have unlikes list for food.

However, thing gets tough when my age increases. The food I ate didn't turn to energy as much as I was young. My metabolism is getting low. So do you know what it turn to? Yass, it turn to fat and I grow my fat rapidly than I grow my muscles. Its worried me sometime. It really does.

I am frustrated!

Having soft spot for food is becoming disaster sometime. I couldnt see food left untouched on table and being wasted. That is why, whenever I take my food on plate I always make sure myself to take the portion that I need and I able to eat. But, what makes it worse is when everyone around me did not practise what I have practised. So, it turns to, akulah yang terpaksa habiskan makanan diorang.

Eventhough, I'd already feel full. But, because of my soft spot that I cant see the food being throw into dustbin, i just eat their food anyway. I feel empathy. I feel bad to those who could not afford buying or having food for themselves or for their family.

I dont know how to educate people arround me. I seriously don't know the best way to tell them. "Lets eat the portion that we think we able to eat and finish it. Or lets just share our food to avoid any waste happen. Or lets just don't waste what is shouldn't be wasted." Huh.

Its just my thought. Hmm.

A lot of articles, I have read recently did you know how much food being wasted for a day, its bilion kg per day!! its truly hurt me, dude. Because with that amout of waste we can feed so many other people who are struggling to have proper meal in their daily life TT In africa, rohinya, palestine, Syria and even our own county in rural area, they sometime are struggling to eat at proper portion.

I am very clueless how selfish we could be as a human being. We are lacking with common sense. So, people let me tell you... If you couldnt afford to feed other people, if you couldnt have intention to think about other people's life, lets just don't be selfish and wasteful to your own self. Wasting food is really not cool!

Selain membazir itu adalah amalan syaitan, it (pembaziran) also train us to be less thankful to our Lord. Seriously. Lets be a better person-inch by inch. Because our generation civilization is depending on us. How we want to teach and civilize our children if we barely teach and civilize our own self? Get the point?